


you won't let go

by eriev



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Female Character of Color, Hurt/Comfort, Semi-Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 12:18:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11714256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eriev/pseuds/eriev
Summary: Morgana expresses doubt regarding hers and Gwen's relationship.





	you won't let go

Gwen wrapped her arms around Morgana’s waist as they lay in bed, trying to keep the demons at bay.  Gwen had abandoned Camelot and could not bring herself to regret it, not when Morgana smiled at her or brought her freshly-picked flowers or clung to her after a nightmare, revealing the frightened woman beneath the dark sorceress.

Morgana opened her eyes, and narrowed them at Gwen.  “You did this because you thought you could change me.”

“I did,” Gwen admitted.  There was never much point in hiding the truth from Morgana.

“You thought that if I could be that nice, sweet girl again, your precious Camelot and your beloved Arthur would be safe.”  Morgana’s voice filled itself with steel as she tried to hide her distress.  She turned away from Gwen, shifting herself to get out of the bed, but she was stopped by Gwen’s hand around her wrist.

“Yes!  I did at first.  Originally, I thought that protecting Arthur was my main motivation.”

“My brother,” snarled Morgana, “has taken everything from me!”

“Please Morgana, calm down.”

“You tell me of your betrayal, of your undying loyalty to my brother even after I have shared everything with you – my bed!  My secrets!  And you tell me to  _ calm down _ !”

“You haven’t given me a chance to explain!”  Gwen exclaimed.  “I thought that my main motive at first was to help Arthur, but that was not truly the case.  I have missed  _ you _ Morgana, more than I can say.  When I first came to you, the feeling was already echoing in the back of my mind.  The remembrance of our friendship.”

“Our  _ past _ friendship,” Morgana corrected.  

“I knew that the magic could not have corrupted you beyond repair.  More than anything, I wanted you back.  You have always been more important to me than Arthur.”

“When I overtook Camelot, I used your counsel.  You help Sir Leon escape, and contributed to my downfall.  Morgause’s downfall.  I realize now that I have been weak for trusting you.”

“Please, let me finish.  There was a time when I was besotted with Arthur, yes.  And I had witnessed you using magic, and it felt  _ wrong _ .”

“Magic is not an evil.  The only evil is those who seek to destroy it.”

“I’m merely recalling how I felt back then.  You were using dark magic, Morgana, and I had been taught to fear it.  Everyone had.”

“And there I had been, thinking that at least you would be intelligent enough to formulate your own opinions.”

“I did.  My  _ opinion _ was that the magic you were using at the time was evil, so I panicked.  I told Gaius, and he agreed with my suspicions.  And when you invaded Camelot, Morgana, it seemed as though you had betrayed everyone.  Innocents died.”

“Innocents have died under the hands of Uther and Arthur.  I was repaying them in kind.”

“I saw innocents  _ dying _ , Morgana.  And you were ruling Camelot unjustly, trying to submit everyone to your will… I didn’t see things as clearly as I do now.”

“And what caused your change of heart?”  Morgana asked stiffly.

“I observed some magic.  I can’t say from who, but they were conjuring butterflies and flowers in a field.  Then I witnessed them heal a sick person, and I realized that magic could not completely corrupt a person.  So I had to find what caused your turn to darkness, Morgana, if not the magic.  I don’t fear the magic anymore.”

“Really, Gwen.  You don’t fear the magic?”  Morgana’s voice had lowered, and taken on a threatening tone.  She leaned forward on the bed, and chanted.  Gwen felt the dark magic envelop her, but maintained a veneer of calmness.

“I do not fear you, Morgana,” Gwen said, feeling her way in the darkness.  She stood up, and covered her ears when she heard a terrible shriek.  

“You do not fear ittttt.”  Morgana’s voice was like a whisper in her ear, but Gwen could not determine where she was.  “Lies!  I can sense your  _ fear _ …. I was blind before.”

“Stop this, Morgana.  I have no patience for your games.”

“Oh, really?”  The question echoed throughout the room.  “I thought you found my games quite amusing.”  Gwen felt pressure on her breasts, like someone was squeezing them.  Her breath caught in her throat.  

Gwen tried to ignore it as best she could, to keep from flinching at the touch and closing her eyes.  “I know you can be good.”

“But where has that ever gotten me?  Betrayed by everyone I loved?  Outcasted from the kingdom I should rightfully rule?”  The darkness began to dissipate, and Gwen saw slithering movements on the floor.

“We were wrong to treat you that way.  I was wrong before.”  Gwen worked to keep her voice steady.  “The magic did not make you turn dark, Morgana.  It’s a force like any weapon, and I fear it no more than I do a sword.”

“You have the power to stop the destruction, Morgana.”

“You think too highly of me, Gwen.  I’m not a saint.”

“You’re no devil, either.  Don’t let yourself fall down this path anymore!  You can fix it!”

“It’s too late!”

“What kind of talk is that?  Hold back your army and listen for once.  Arthur will be more likely to end the persecution of magic users if you stop this.”

“Arthur is his father’s son.”

“Arthur has as much of a choice to be Uther’s son as you have to be Uther’s daughter.”

“You think Arthur will accept me?  After everything I have done?”

“I know him.  I know you.  He wishes in his heart for reconciliation, and you wish the same.”

“And if he tries to execute me?”

Gwen shrugged.  “You’re the sorceress.  I’m sure you could think of something.”

“Morgana,” Gwen said softly, bringing her hand up to stroke back a lock of Morgana’s hair.  “You will have me.  I will find a way, and I will follow wherever you choose to go.”  She leaned forward and gently pressed a kiss to Morgana’s forehead, then to her lips.  “I just wish that you will choose the right path.”

**Author's Note:**

> A short scene from a multichapter fic I never finished - the premise was that [Season 4] Gwen saw Merlin doing magic, realized that magic wasn't Evil, wondered if there wasn't still some trace of good in Morgana, and sought her out in the hopes that she could bring out some of the light in her.


End file.
